The devil, Detroit, and a baffled Baphomet

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So …is he still here?

Just talking’ ’bout..

Shut yo mouf.

That Baphomet is a baaaaad mutha…

I said SHUT IT.

And I suppose can’t nobody understand him except his woman. But damn, who would that be?

Mrs. Baphomet???

It’s all been kind of amusing in a way watching this whole Baphomet Does Detroit story unwind over the past few weeks. First, word was that the 9-foot-tall, one-ton statue was destined to land at Bert’s Warehouse in Eastern Market, known much more for jazz and good ribs than Satan. Still, business is business and Bert figured if the Baphomet roadshow wanted to make it’s Motown stop at his locale, he figured why not. But then it turned out a buncha locals figured there were a whole lotta reasons why not and were even threatening all manner of punitive-type measures if he even considered following through on allowing the Satanists to unveil their statue at Bert’s. So Bert’s backed out, and so far as I’ve been able to determine, the devil didn’t much care. I suspect he’s saving the big bang for his final destination in Arkansas, which ought to be a kick to see what happens.

Be on the lookout for locusts would be my advice. Or Detroit’s latest persona non grata Kid Rock. Normally I wouldn’t have been that mean, putting Kid Rock and Satan in the same arena, but since he decided to tell anyone who thought he should stop worshipping the Stars and Bars to kiss his behind, then I say the hell with him. Catch a ride with Baphomet outta town, Kid.

And take the long ride, son. When you start feeling the heat and hearing all those screams, they aren’t your fans. But you’ll know you’re getting closer to home.


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Writer and musician.

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