Mayonnaise Murders; Vee remembers a Planet 10 childhood

The Mayonnaise Murders

Everybody back on V-5 figured I must have grown up like some little princess with well-trained mutants waiting on me hand and foot, pouring my bathwater and scrubbing my toes, just because I was born on Very Very. That’s why I always say people usually go on and assume something when they don’t actually know, hey? I mean, yeah, it’s true that Very Very is the sector on Planet 10 where most of the critters with money prefer to park their asses along with their assets, but that’s not everybody. Not by a longshot. Just because it was designed that way by the Purebloods, or humans, or whatever you wanna call them, doesn’t mean it held up that way. That was a long, long time ago that they designed the planet as somewhere they could park us off world after they designed us, and a lot has changed since then. Not that they would know since they don’t exactly keep in touch anymore. Which is fine with me. Screw ’em, to be honest. I think that’s the way most of us feel.

But back to what I was saying about growing up on Very Very. Look, V-5 is raw. I’ll give you that, because it’s pretty hard to miss if you’ve ever spent any time here. But believe me when I tell you that Very Very has it’s own kind of twists and turns that can make life interesting in all the sort of ways where interesting was the last thing you had in mind. Take for example the idea of sewing up the gills of their own adolescent kids to keep them from making too much noise. Kids are supposed to make noise, man. But not on Very Very. I’m telling you, those critters there have a whole other idea about a normal childhood that has nothing to do with the child or normal either. I would know, and that’s why I had to run away when I was just a kid. Haven’t been back in more than 20 years, after all that drama that happened once I started selling MayoMadd to my friends. Caused a lot of pain to my family, which I never intended.

Matter of fact, if they’re reading this…

Just another Detroit Ink Publishing creation.



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Writer and musician.

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