Fox News says Jesus was a white guy. Must be true then…

Nevermind what the bible says about Jesus having hair like lamb’s wool and skin the color of bronze. Don’t matter. Fox News has spoken, and the latest word from the stone tablets, the burning bush, that big booming voice in the sky, Charlton Heston, and all other prehistoric modes of biblical communication is that Jesus was white. To assert anything else, especially during the Christmas season, is just plain cruel to small children. Certainly their fragile psyches might be irreparably harmed by anything so vicious as the truth, and Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly just ain’t havin’ that.

Oh, and Santa is a white guy too. Which, of course, would explain why he hasn’t yet been arrested for shimmying down all those chimneys in all those upscale neighborhoods. I think we all can agree on what fate would befall a black Santa walking around on the roof of a Beverly Hills mansion holding a big sack of merchandise with no receipt.

For the rest of this post that I wrote for PoliticusUSA, click here.

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